In time for Valentine’s Day, we’ve compiled the top ten ways to win points with your Partner. Enjoy!
- Make time in your schedule for you to spend together. How you use that time is up to you. What we enjoy is snuggling with our dog as we wake each morning, and it sets the tone for our day ahead. The end of our day ends the same way, and reinforces the bond, or the closeness we have.
- Buy her flowers for no reason. From a real florist, not a corner store, and make sure there is a hand-written note to accompany it. What works for us is my personal note slipped into the bouquet. Never have them delivered at her office unless you know their policy on such gestures. Spend more if you’re making an apology, and don’t ever skimp on the ribbons.
- Have a cooked meal waiting for her when she gets home from work. If its not overkill, run a bath for her too. She’ll probably fall asleep after the bath but the smile on her face is worth it, and you can reheat the meal anytime. Win-Win.
- Anticipate her needs. If you’ve been together for a long time, or your married, you kind of get a routine going. If you’re very observant you’ll pick up her habits. Does she like a glass of wine after a hard day, or does she prefer to spend some time alone, with a good book? Learn her habits and set up cues – let her know you’re busy with something if she wants to take some time out – so she knows you can handle being without her for a while so she can regroup without worrying about you.
- Pick up the dry cleaning without being asked to. Ditto for taking out the trash. Who wants a honey-do list? You don’t. Right.
- Make sure that when its your turn to buy groceries that her favourite go-to-foods are in your cart. She’ll never forgive you if you forget its boxed lunch week and you forgot the carrot sticks, or worse, you run out of milk and she’s gasping for a latte before work. What works for us is a small list with a magnet holding it on to the fridge door so we can both be reminded of what’s needed.
- Learn how to give a massage. When her shoes get kicked off the minute she gets into the house she needs a massage. The most points can be scored if you also rub her feet, if she asks. This scores you the maximum points, and you may never have to be in the doghouse ever again. Ok, you’ll get a reprieve for at least a month.
- Don’t let date night become a cliche. It doesn’t have to be a date in the evening and you don’t need to go out or spend any money if you don’t want to. A candlelit bath with a glass of wine, or a walk on the beach in the afternoon all count. Use your imagination otherwise the closeness between you will disappear and you’ll stop connecting. Be spontaneous!
- Breakfast in bed on a weekday. You’re both working hard, rushing to work, sometimes with just an insulated cup of coffee. Plan ahead. Get up a little earlier and make an effort to bring breakfast to the bedroom. Just watch out for crumbs…
- Always call when you say you will. Be punctual. Keep promises that you make, like mending the garden fence, taking the dog to the park. Nobody likes to be reminded to do these things, so just do them.
Happy Valentines Day from all of us at Phoenix Relationship Coaching !
ABOUT ROBIN WRIGHT-THURNLEY
Robin is Associate Head Coach at Phoenix Relationship Coaching where he works with men to guide them through the maze that is relationships.