How much time do we have, really?
Enough time to plan the rest of our lives with the person of our dreams?
Long enough to make enough money to retire while we still have good health?
Have you experienced all of the joys that life has to show you?
I thought I’d achieved all that I had hoped for and was ready to retire early, having met and married the person of my dreams, and having worked extremely hard for many years to ensure I had enough money to give my family a good standard of living through our retirement years.
I was wrong.
I painfully had a preview of my life without everything I hold dear.
My life was at a point where I was extremely satisfied with my career, the perfect home, the perfect Wife and soulmate. I had it all, or so I thought.
Then cruelly one evening it was all completely ripped away from me.
My heart stopped beating.
For almost forty-five minutes, my heart was being pumped with assistance from my Wife who had given me life-saving CPR until the paramedics arrived and took over.
At first, I didn’t remember much of what had happened, but then in hospital I came around after major heart surgery and saw the look of total happiness and relief on my Wife’s face.
When I asked her what had happened, she tearfully told me that I’d died in her arms, and she’d had to revive me.
I remember falling to the ground, and nothing more.
There was no light, no tunnel, no ghostly apparition to welcome me to the great beyond.
I was here one minute, and staring into complete blackness the next, without anyone or anything I loved.
My one recurring thought through all this was:
”if only I had more time”
Not more time to procrastinate, or to drive my sports cars, or to earn more money.
I just remember a feeling of abject fear and longing for more TIME.
I wasn’t done being here yet.
I wasn’t done loving my Wife.
I wasn’t DONE being me.
After I had recovered enough to be sent home I was scared my heart wouldn’t repair itself, and I’d be the shadow of the man I once was; that I’d become permanently weak and lifeless.
I was wrong.
Within just a few days of being at home I felt stronger.
My Wife held my hand and took me on long walks through the woods near our home; a little further each day, until I felt my strength slowly returning.
I watched my Wife’s love grow even more; if that’s possible, into this all-encompassing compassion that was steadfast and unwavering, even at my most selfish, and intolerable. I doubted my marriage would survive the stress and anguish.
I was wrong.
My Wife was my life raft for me to cling to in turbulent waters.
And I clung to her more than I would have dreamt of doing.
I gave her everything she selflessly gave me: love and compassion. patience, understanding, and we even made new promises.
Promises to be better at being fully present.
Promises to take each day and live it to the fullest.
Promises to live each day and leave a lasting memory within both of us.
Because now we both know that we don’t have all the time in the world.
We just have enough.