We’ve all been there. You’re out for the night with your male friends enjoying the music and the sexy vibe in the Club. A woman approaches you and asks you to dance, or to buy her a drink, or both. Instant flattery and attraction are inevitable. No matter what your relationship status, it is an ego boost to have an attractive woman sidle up to you. However, what if there’s something about her which you are not attracted to, how do you let her down gently without denting your self-respect or irrevocably damaging hers?
Be gentlemanly about it
Nobody likes a show-off so rather than insult her just to show your friends you’re a hot shot in the sexual stakes department take a moment to treat her the way you hoped you ‘d be let down gently if it were you.
Use a diversion tactic to ease your way out of the situation
If you have a reason to leave, do so, but indicate you have some place to be, and be polite about it. Make sure she understands you are not interested by thanking her and showing you feel flattered she approached you, then walk away. Don’t linger, or she’ll talk you out of leaving her.
Show her your wedding band
Sometimes women need a visual and direct way to discover you are not interested in them. A wedding band can instantly chill a woman’s heat for you, or instantly give her a reason to impress upon you how much better she is for you than your wife is. If she tells you this line, take out your phone and start dialling your wife’s number and tell her someone wants to prove she’s better than the Wifey.
Some women see married men as a challenge. When out for the night, some married men see it as a licence to cheat, flirt, get hands-on with someone else. If you’re very insecure in your marriage the temptation to stray can be overwhelming.
However, there’s one caveat: the guilt will eat you alive. Forever. A constant reminder that you had something wonderful with someone amazing and you blew it for a quick fumble in a darkened nightclub with a stranger.
For your own sanity’s sake, do the right thing – if you’re not interested, leave well alone.
About Robin Wright-Thurnley
Robin is an Associate Coach at Phoenix Relationship Coaching where he guides men towards achieving their dreams of lasting love.